Is Sleep Only a Dream Now That We Have a Child?

Learn Simple and Effective Strategies for Ensuring Everyone in Your House Gets a Good Night's Sleep

By Rebecca S. Blakeman, Ph.D.,  Licensed Psychologist

For many parents the most difficult adjustment to make when having a child is learning to cope with a lack of sleep.  It is perfectly normal for babies to need to be fed and changed several times throughout the night when they first come home from the hospital.  This often leaves parents in a state of sleep deprivation.  Here are some simple, effective strategies for ensuring that your child will sleep through the night SOONER rather than LATER.

1.  First and foremost, ensure that your child's needs are met.  If you are breastfeeding, prioritize breastfeeding above all else, to ensure the development of a healthy milk supply.  Feed your baby when he/she is hungry.  Change your baby when he/she has a wet or dirty diaper.  Comfort your baby when he/she needs comforting.  Your most important job is to provide a nurturing, secure environment for your baby...helping your baby sleep through the night is only one part of that nurturing.

2.  Establish a routine with your child as early as possible.  A routine is simply doing the same activities, in the same order, every day.  Don't get routines confused with schedules...schedules involve doing activities based on what time it is on the clock, and that is NOT what your newborn needs.  A helpful routine for ensuring your child learns to sleep through the night sooner rather than later consists of the following sequence of activities:  Sleep--Eat--Play.  When your child wakes from sleeping, feed him/her immediately.  Then, assuming it is during the day, engage in an active period of play with your child.  Once your child begins to show sleepy signs, place him/her down for a nap.  When the baby wakes, repeat the sequence.  Initially, your child's "Play" time may be very short, as babies do not stay awake for very long.  That's okay.  The purpose behind this sequence of events is to separate eating from sleep, so that your child will be able to fall asleep without the need for a bottle in the middle of the night.  If children always fall asleep after eating, they may become dependent on a full tummy for falling asleep, which would require Mom or Dad getting up to feed them during the night.

3.  As much as possible, put your child down for sleep while he/she is still awake.  If you are nervous about doing this or your child strongly resists this, it is okay to wait until your child is almost at the brink of falling asleep, then put them down.  The goal is to eventually be able to have them put themselves to sleep...so start where they are (i.e., some babies will do this from day one, others need to be almost asleep before you put them down, and still others will need to be deeply asleep the first few weeks before being put down), and works towards your end goal by gradually putting them down more and more awake.

4.  Prioritize naps.  While it may seem that keeping a baby awake during the day will help ensure he/she sleeps longer during the night, the opposite is actually true.  Sleep begets sleep, and a child that naps well is much more likely to sleep well at night.

5.  Don't let your baby get over tired.  If you are having problems getting your baby to fall asleep for naps or at the start of bedtime, you may have an over tired baby.  Try moving nap time and/or bedtime up by 20 minutes until you find your baby's natural sleepy time.

4.  Make a clear distinction between night and day.  As hard as it is, resist talking to your baby when he/she wakes for a night feeding.  Change his/her diaper with as little light as possible, feed him/her, and put him/her back to bed.  During the day, always turn on the lights after a nap, talk in your normal voice, give lots of kisses and tickles, and stay active after your baby has fed. 

5.  Do all you can to ensure your child gets a good number of calories during the day.  Try to avoid "snacking" in which the child feeds for just a few minutes and is temporarily satisfied.  Encourage your baby to take a full feed (i.e., empty both breasts, take a full bottle) at every feed.  By making sure that your child gets a good number of FULL feedings during the day, you are helping to ensure that the baby is getting the calories he/she needs, and therefore won't need to eat during the night.

The sooner you begin to implement these simple strategies, the sooner you are likely to see your child sleeping longer and longer stretches at night.  A baby who sleeps through the night is much more likely to wake happy and cheerful in the morning...and so are Mom and Dad!

To Contact Dr. Blakeman about sleep or other early behavior problems, please call Adolescent Child Specialty Services at 404-310-1161.